


Clown

by Obiwanakin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drama, Drug Use, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-02
Updated: 2012-05-15
Packaged: 2017-11-02 21:58:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obiwanakin/pseuds/Obiwanakin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where you're Gamzee Makara, friendship is a motherf-ing miracle, not something thrown away or tossed aside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Your mind is a fuzzy mess of fog induced by at least three Lortab and a bowl of the finest green, yet still you're walking into your new school as though you weren't stoned out of your ass.

You'd stopped to zone out staring at the school's name lettered in white on the sign, 'Prospit High School', so you were probably late, but you couldn't really care. Everything was CoOl MoThErFuCkEr. As you finally walk into the building, the other students stop and stare at your look- purple polka dot pajama bottoms and a black hoodie, the remnants of dark carnival make-up staining your face and your hair a huge mess of voluptuous tangles. You were okay with their staring; some people just didn't understand how a motherfucker chills.

You float through the crowds of students hurrying to class and into the front office, up to the desk where a well-dressed lady stares at you mouth agape for a moment.

"Oh, h-hello. Can I help you?" She asks nervously when she finally gets her bearings.

"Yeah, I'm new to this place. Could I get my schedule?" Your deep baritone voice comes out calm but a little scratchy. It was still sore from the burn of the sweet smoke from earlier. You think you might wreak of the stuff.

She nods, quickly taking the chance to look away from you, and goes to a filing cabinet. "Your name?"

"Gamzee Makara."

She opens one of the drawers and flicks through the papers within. "How do you spel- oh, nevermind." She pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to you. "Here you go. Enjoy your first day, Gamzee."

You take the paper and force yourself out of your cloudy mind long enough to look down at it so that you can find your first class. Physics.

AwEsOmE.

You leave the office to wander around the foreign hallways in search of room 413 with Ms. Roxy Lalonde. After a bit of searching- the bell rings and your mind just barely pieces together that you're late- you find the classroom and push inside. The entire class turns to look at you, confirming that yes, you were late. Included with the entire class is at very tipsy-looking woman with nice hair and a snazzy labcoat standing at the front of the classroom.

"Yer late." She slurs.

You walk up to her and hand her your schedule. "I'm new, sist- Ms. Lalonde." You aren't supposed to address teachers like that, so you correct yourself.

Her eyes scan the paper, then she hands it back to you. "Oh, okay." She looks up and over the class, eyes squinting as they fight to search through her mind's probably-drunken haze. They stop on a kid at the back, sitting at one of the typical science lab-style tables. "Go sit with, err, N'tram back there. The kid with the mohawk."

You nod and head through the rows of still-staring peers, lanky limbs moving slow and relaxed, until you get to said mohawk kid. You take a seat next to him, feeling a little amused when he scoots his chair over as far as he can and avoids your gaze. Despite this, you want to try and talk to him, anyway. The kid is all up and being pretty damn adorable.

"Hey, brother." You greet, the friendliness is evident in your voice. "I'm Gamzee."

He peeks up at you shyly through long lashes, his big brown eyes hesitant. "Uh, hi, I'm Tavros."

"Cool name, motherfucker."

Tavros looks surprised, but pleased. "Thanks. You, uh, you too, Gamzee." He's quiet a moment before he speaks again. "You're new here?"

You nod, wily hair flopping a bit. "Sure am. I gotta say, I'm all up and loving your school."

Tavros laughs a little. "I, uh, think, you're the only one."

You're about to tell the little motherfucker just how cute he is when Ms. Lalonde clears her throat loudly. "'Kay, class. Today we're gonna... I dunno, it's Monday and I really di'int plan. Jus' talk to the new kid or something." She goes to her desk then, sitting down and sipping clear liquid from a glass.

Tavros laughs again, and damn if it isn't the sweetest sound you've ever heard. "Ms. Lalonde's always like that."

"Sounds like a pretty motherfucking good way to live." You grin over at the smaller boy.

He looks confused for a moment, then his eyes grow wide with realization. "Are you, uh, drunk or something?" He whispers the last part, his eyes glance around nervously, as if it were some desecrating secret.

This time you're the one laughing, slapping the desk hard enough to draw the stares back onto you. "Nah, brother, I'm just baked. I had a bowl and some happy pills."

Tavros only cocks his head. MoThErFuCkEr LoOkS lIkE a CuTe AsS pUpPy.

You bark out another laugh. "Weed and Lortab, Tavbro."

"Oh." He looks down at the table. "I don't, do stuff like that."

PoOr MoThErFuCkEr. You pat his back. "No reason to all get down. That's a damn cool way to live too."

He looks up at you with wide, surprised eyes that make you smile. "Uh..."

Suddenly, there's a black skinny jean-clad ass sitting in front of you on the table. You look up to see a girl with long black hair, stylish glasses, and a bittersweet smile staring down at you. "Helloooooooo." She says. Something in your mind tells you that she means it to be mischievously.

"Hey, sister." You say with a glance at Tavros. He's sort of just cowering in his seat, looking uncomfortable in the girl's presence.

"I'm Vriska." The girl says to you with a malicious grin at the scared Tavros. "And you are?"

"Gamzee."

She wrinkles her nose. "What a weird name."

All you do is shrug, unaffected by her comment. "I guess you might think so, sister."

At that she gives you a harsh little laugh. "You're stoned out of your dumb little mind, aren't you?"

"Generally, yeah."

"hm. Well, it was nice talking to you... Gamzee." Vriska waves at Tavros; he looks down at his hands. "Bye-bye, Tav."

Then she's gone, walking back to a group of others.

"Who's that crazy broad?" You ask Tavros.

"V-Vriska Serket. She's, uh, she's the coolest girl in the school."

You spare a glance at Vriska, who's chatting with a very classy-looking girl in green. "Doesn't look too cool to me."

The other boy shrugs. "As long as she thinks she is, then so will everyone else.""

You decide that you don't want to talk about Vriska anymore. She seems too big for her metaphorical britches. "So you wanna all up and hang out after school or something?"

A blush spreads across Tavros' tan cheeks. "W-Wow, sure." Then he looks a little forlorn. "But you, uh, probably shouldn't hang around me. People won't think you're cool, or something."

Aw MaN. pOoR lItTlE gUy ObViOuSlY dOeSn'T kNoW mE tOo WeLl. "Brother, none of that 'cool' stuff matters to a dude like me. Friendship is a motherfucking miracle. No popularity or whatever is gonna change that."

That adorable blush was back on the other boy's cheeks. He scratches the back of his head, it looks like a nervous habit. "You uh, consider us friends?"

"Yeah, sure, brother. You're all pretty cool to talk to."

Tavros grins happily. "In that case, do you wanna come over to my house after school?"

The bell rings right as you're nodding your head in confirmation.

Tavros gives a little wave at you as he stands to leave. "Meet me in front of the school when it's time to go home."

You sit in a content daze for a moment after he's gone. The Latino- or maybe half-Latino- boy was cute as a motherfucker, and he made your heart race in a weird way. Finally, you gather your things and move on to your next class, which is History 11 with Coach Dirk Strider.

On your way through the hallways, you rummage through your hoodie pocket and then pop back the couple of Lortab you pull out. They were the only way you could make it from day to day. It's not like your pops was ever home to check up on you. You couldn't blame him, though; it's not like it's his fault that he's always away on business.

You make it to Coach Strider's room on time and walk in to see a tall, muscular guy wearing tight-ish black pants, a white golf shirt, and a black baseball cap. You let him know that you're a new student- he only nods in an oddly cool way- then you take a seat next to a mean-looking kid with nappy black hair and dark circles under his eyes. You're about to say something to him, but the bell rings and Coach Strider starts passing out worksheets.

"Use your book to find the answers, turn them in to the basket up front when you're done." He slams a history book on your desk along with the assignment.

You open the book to a random chapter, eyes scanning through the thousands of words. The words get lost in the rapidly re-accumulating fog of your mind and you end up zoning out.

Suddenly you're being prodded sharply in the side. You pull yourself out of your trance and look over to see the grumpy kid glaring at you. "Hey, idiot." He whispers. "Coach Strider will be pissed the fuck off if he sees you not working."

ThIs LiTtLe DuDe Is A mOtHeRfUcKiNg FiReBaLl.

"I'm Gamzee." You drone in your relaxed tone, completely disregarding the kid's warning. "What's your name?"

The kid looks taken aback, but then he furrows his brow and frowns. "Karkat. Are you fucking retarded or something?"

You laugh quietly; somehow you still have enough sense left to remember not to be loud. "Nah, brother."

"Oh, you're high." Karkat says this as if it's the most normal thing he's ever seen.

You nod. "Yeah, feels like a motherfucking miracle.

Coach Strider clears his throat to announce that you need to promptly shut the fuck up. You go back to staring at your book's multitude of letters.

A note lands in front of you, so you unfold it and read what it says.

"ARE YOU NEW HERE?"

You scribble a reply with a pen you pull out of your hoodie pocket, "YeAh BrOtHeR" then you flick the note back at Karkat.

The two of you pass notes like that back and forth for the rest of the class period, your work going undone. Before you know it, class is over and the two of your are agreeing to meet up for lunch later in the day.

You head to your next class, smiling contentedly.

TwO nEw FrIeNdS iN oNe DaY. nOt BaD aT mOtHeRfUcKiNg AlL.


	2. Chapter Two

By the time lunch rolls around you’ve popped a countless amount of Lortab and you’re hardly connected to the world.

Somehow you make it to the lunchroom without getting lost in the maze of hallways. You stand, lost in the hazy mist of your mind, for a short moment, but a fist punching hard at your arm brings you back.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Says a voice.

You look down and confirm that it is your angry new friend Karkat. “Oh, hey, brother. Ready to all get your lunch on?”

Karkat wrinkles his nose at the proposition, as if you’d just held your Converse in front of his face. “No way am I eating that awful excuse for food.”

You shrug. “Alright, more for this hungry motherfucker.”

Before you go to get your food, Karkat points to a table at the far back. “Me and the idiots I call friends sit back there.”

You try to nod, but it makes things in your head spin, so you settle with a ‘kay,’ then you head to the lunch line where a strange array of fake meat products and canned veggies await. You grab some chicken nuggets, pay with an uncounted handful of dollar bills, and head to the table Karkat pointed out.  
“Hey there, motherfuckers.” You greet the small group that has gathered as you set down your tray and take a seat.

It’s dreadfully obvious that you’re among the misfits. There’s a guy wearing red and blue tinted glasses, a chick wearing a cat hat and a giant green jacket, another is wearing red glasses and is bopping Karkat with a cane, and then there’s a girl next to 3D glasses guy wearing a large gray jacket and looking sullen. ThEy LoOk LiKe NiCe MoThErFuCkErS.

Cane Girl finally stops bopping Karkat so that the protesting boy can introduce everyone. “Okay, this crazy bitch is Terezi.” Cane Girl, Terezi, snickers.

“I’m Tholluth.” Says 3D glasses guy. “Thith ith Aradia.” Emo girl doesn’t even wave.

“I’m Nepeta!” Cat girl greets, full of energy.

“I’m Gamzee. Nice to all up and meet ya’ll.”

Terezi laughs. “You sound out of your mind.”

“If only you could see how right you are…” Karkat grumbles back as he crosses his arms over the table and lays his head on them.

“Aw, come on, Karkat! Don’t be so grumpy. You should be happy about out new friend.” Nepeta chirps happily.

I cOuLd GeT dOwN wItH a MoOd LiKe ThAt.

Karkat groans. “The guy has zero brain cells left with all the drugs he does. Why should I be happy about adding another fucktard to my life?”

“I though there wath thomething thtrange about you.”

You just laugh. “You guys are some funny motherfuckers.”

Sollux and Karkat share a look.

“Told you so.”

“I gueth you weren’t jutht overreacting.”

“Well, what does he look like?” Terezi asks, peering around the table.

WaIt, ShE cAn’T sEe Me?

“You can’t see me sister?” You look to Nepeta with wide eyes. “Can you see me? Am I a ghost?"

Nepeta only giggles, covering her mouth with her hands.

“No, I can’t see, you dumbass.”

You turn back to Terezi. “Are you blind or something?”

“Oh my God, Karkat, why did you invite thith idiot?” Sollux says, head in his hands.

You don’t really understand what’s going on, so you just giggle with Nepeta. Even the emo girl Aradia is trying to hide her smile.

Terezi cackles in that weird way of hers. “You’re really a weird guy.”

You just smile and shrug. “Yeah, I guess a motherfucker might think that.”

“Hey, uh, Gamzee.” Comes a voice from behind, then Tavros is taking a seat next to you.

“Hey, Tavbro. You know these guys?”

“Sure he does! We’re all furriends.” Nepeta says.

Tavros gives a nod of confirmation. “Yeah. I’m, uh, glad we’re, sitting together.” The other boy fiddles with the strings of his hoodie. “So you, still wanna come over?”

“Well hell yeah. Don’t see why not.”

“Maybe because he’s a blubbering baby.” Says Terezi as she pokes a putdown Tavros with the tip of her cane.

“Uh…”

You wrap an arm around Tavros’ shoulders. “I think he’s a pretty cool motherfucker.”

Karkat raises an eyebrow. “Tavros? Cool?” No, not even fucking possible.”

Tavros sputters out a series of sounds an ‘uh’s as you pull him against you, nuzzling the fuzzy shaved side of his head with your face. “Nah, he’s cool to me.”

Sollux and Aradia both stand.

“We’re gonna go. Thinth are getting a little too gay for uth.” The male says as he leaves with his arm wrapped around the girl.

You don’t really give two shits about gay and straight. Not a single motherfucker could all up and help who they liked. Tavros, however, seems bothered by Sollux’s statement, as he tries to squirm away from you. Instead of letting him go, you hold him tighter and eventually he melts against your side.

Terezi starts bopping Karkat again, and Nepeta goes off to talk to some buff guy with long black hair pulled back in a pony tail, so you go back to nuzzling Tavros’ head.

“Gamzee, uh, are you, uh, gay?” The Latino asks suddenly.

You laugh softly. “I don’t really care. A motherfucker likes who a motherfucker likes.”

“Do you, like, uh, me?”

“So far. Something all up in my mind is telling me that I’m gonna like you even more as I get to know you.”

“Oh.” Tavros says as he goes still. “I think, I like you too. But, uh, I’d like to get to know you more, if that’s okay.”

“That’s fine, Tavbro, take all the time you need.”

“Oh my God, guys, please shut up!”

“Aw, is Karkles jealous?”

The bells rings and you and Tavros both ignore Karkat’s retching as you hug each other goodbye. “See you.” Tavros says, a blush glowing on his cheeks.

You stand, leaving your tray of untouched food at the table, along with Karkat, who has his elbow looped with Terezi’s.

“What class do you have next?” He asks.

You check your schedule. “Uh, Home Economics with Ms. Crocker.”

Terezi fistpumps. “You have that with me.”

If you were a normal person, you'd probably wonder how a blind girl took a class like that, but you were open to all sorts of miracles, so you didn't question the situation.

You walk there with Terezi and Karkat, then inside with just the girl. The two of you take a seat at a back table.

"You're gonna love this class." Says Terezi. "You learn to make all sorts of stuff. Like brownies." She wiggles her eyebrows, hinting at what she means, but you just laugh.

"I already know how to make brownies, sister. 'Cept I make mine with a touch of some motherfucking miracles.'

"Oh my God, you are so brainless." Terezi cackles. "You're funny, a lot more fun than Karkat too."

You're about to say something when the bell rings and the teacher at the front, a small woman with short black hair and a skirt, clears her throat. "Hello , stu- Oh, Ms. Maryam, it would appear neither of your partners are present. Go... sit with those two at the back."

The classy girl in green from earlier begrudgingly moves from her table to yours, where she glances at you then looks away with a grimace.

"That's Kanaya." Terezi whispers to you. "She's Vriska's bff or whatever. Most everyone thinks she has a crush on her, though."

You nod, wondering how any sane person could have a crush on the mean broad from earlier.

"As I was sa-" Ms. Crocker is cut off yet again.

"Hey, Janie. There's been a vomi- I mean, accident, in my classroom. Couldja come help me clean it up?" Says Ms. Lalonde as she sticks her alcohol-mussed head through the  
door.

Ms. Crocker only sighs in defeat. "Stay put , students. I'll be back in a jiffy." then she's gone, leaving the class alone.

Kanaya gathers her things and quickly moves back to her own table. you sniff at your armpit, wondering vaguely if you stink at all.

"Did she leave?" Asks Terezi.

You nod, then realize she can't see you. "Yeah, sister."

"Good." Terezi lets out a sigh of relief. "That girl makes my brain feel constipated. You should hear her talk, too man big words."

You pop back a couple more Lortab and 'hmmm' to yourself.

I wOnDeR wHaT tAvBrO iS uP tO.


	3. Chapter Three

The rest of the day goes by pretty fast, but having Terezi, who you share all your afternoon classes with, around is probably the reason why. The two of you just have fun together, you think, two souls that can have a good time. After your last class, and after giving Terezi a giant hug, you walk over to the front of the school where you wait for Tavros.

The other boy doesn't keep you waiting long, walking up to you with a grin on his face. "Hey, uh, Gamzee. I don't, live far from here, so I thought we could, uh, walk over."

You pat him on the back and nod. "Sounds cool, Tavbro. Lead the way."

The two of you start down the sidewalk to his house, chatting idly, or what you thought was idly. Tavros looks happy and nervous all at the same time, but you don't really pay it any mind. Instead, you focus on gazing around at all of the beatiful weather.

"So, uh, where are you from? Tell me about yourself." Says the shorter boy as you both walk.

"Aw, I dunno what all to up and say. My pops and I move around a lot, he ain't really home all that much cause he works a lot, so there's no tellin' where all I been. Somehow I ended up here."

"Oh, well, do you have any interests, or, uh, hobbies?"

"I get high a lot, and I like juggling and juggalos. I really like purple a lot, too."

Tavros giggles a little. "Like the color?"

"Yeah, Tavbro, like the motherfucking color."

It's quiet again, but only for a moment. "My family is from Mexico. Well, not me, but, uh, my parents and stuff. I like to roleplay and read and my favorite color is brown."

You smile to yourself as the little guy talks. He'S oPeNiNg Up To Me AlReAdY. "That's cool, little motherfucker. You're a pretty cool dude."

Tavros blushes. "Oh, t-thanks. But, uh, we're here."

You follow Tavros off the sidewalk and up a drive way, then into a typical suburban home. Inside it was moderately decorated, definitely not too fancy, but not underdone. 

"Well, here it is." Tavros says, gesturing around the room. Then he brightens as an idea evidently comes to mind. "Come on." He says, grabbing your hand as he drags you down a hallway and into a room that could only be his, judging by the Peter Pan posters on the wall and the brown and black t-shirts strewn on the floor. "What do you think?" He asks as he turns to you smiling.

You gaze around for a moment, a smile of your own on your face, then let your gaze land on Tavros. "Motherfucking bitchtits awesome, Tavbro."

The grin at your approval is near blinding, but you love it. 

The two of you spend the rest of the afternoon watching stupid videos on YouTube and surfing the web, and at some point your arm ends up draped over Tavros' shoulder. After awhile you go home to the mansion where you live, the place that you loathe, and go to sleep alone, the ache in your chest that you usually feel at this hour is subdued just a little bit.

As the weeks go by, you and Tavros get closer, your friendship growing into something you've never had with anyone. You're always at his house on the weekends, though he has begun to question why he can't go over to yours. 

You're also spending lots of time with Karkat, as well as Sollux, Aradia, Terezi, and Nepeta. You'd become very fond of the group. When you weren't with Tavros, you were with one of them. Karkat had actually become like your best friend, despite the fact that he was mean, snarky, and full of pent up rage.

Today, you and Tavros were out at the football field. Ms. Lalonde was hungover (again) so she'd sent the entire class outside for mandatory "play time."

As you all joked around, you'd noticed the group of popular students conversing not far off on the bleachers. Vriska kept glancing over at someone in your general area, but you couldn't really work out who. Your mind was to fogged over to do that kind of heavy thinking.

LoOkS lIkE tHe BiTcH iS uP tO sOmEtHiNg.

And wouldn't you know it, she gets up and walks up to Tavros.

"Hi there, Tav. You look... nice today." The 'nice' comes out slow and sultry. Your suspicion meter skyrockets.

Tavros looks up at Vriska with wide, scared eyes. "I, uh, I do?"

"Oh, suuuuuuuure." She smiles kindly at him.

"Uh, well, um, thanks."

"No problem, cutie. Well, see you around." Vriska turns around and leaves, much to your pleasure. The pleasure is subtle, though, since you don't think you could actually actively hate someone. You're just too chill of a dude for that.

"Whoa, what was up with all that?" You ask a surprisingly smitten Tavros when Vriska is out of earshot.

"I dunno..." The Latino says dreamily before turning to look at you with bright eyes. "But she called me, me, Gamzee, cute!"

"Yeah..." You glance up at Vriska who meets your gaze with a sly wink.

You dig around in your jeans and pull out a couple of Lortab, ignoring Tavros' frown of disapproval as you pop them back. Something told you that you were going to need to be really chill soon, or else you would end up in full out rage mode.


	4. Chapter Four

As predicted, things only go downhill over the next few weeks.

It start with Vriska only walking by and saying hello, but then she stayed for long conversations, talking to Tavros and (ObViOuSlY) pretending to be interested in what he had to say.

But she doesn't actually care, not like you do. Tavros began ignoring you in favor of Vriska even when the two of you had been talking to each other only moments before. He'd act like you weren't even there. However, as soon as she was gone, he'd turn to you with a look of such pure elated joy that it put an ache in your chest.

For example, the two of you had been sitting in the white-walled classroom that belonged to Ms. Lalonde when Vriska had sauntered up, hips swaying left and right like a hypnotic pendant, and started chatting up Tavors. All she had to do was bat her little eyes and Tavros was following her over to her group of more popular peers like a lost puppy.

But the worst happens when he sits with her at lunch.

"What the fuck is Tavros doing sitting with Serket?" Karkat asks as you take your seat across from him at the lunch table. It's just the two of you here today.

You shrug and pop back two more Lortab to keep your high in check.You'll need the pleasant mind-numbing fog to get through the rest of the day. "I dunno. Brother likes her, I guess."

Karkat gives you his patented 'what the actual fuck' look. "How could anyone like Vriska?"

"I think...- I think it makes him feel cooler, less lame, you get what I'm saying?"

"Yeah..." Karkat says with an understanding nod. "It's probably some kind of trick."

"Probably, but don't up and go telling him that. I don't want Tavbro getting his feelings all hurt."

 

This time Karkat gives you a different kind of look, one full of pity. "You like him, don't you? And don't you dare fucking lie to me."

Your hazel eyes meet the other boy's bloodshot blues. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do, but it's not like I have much of a chance now, so why should I be all worrying about it?"

Karkat sighs. "I was pretty damn sure he liked you back, but now Vriska's gone and twisted everything around. Maybe you should talk to him, let him know that hanging with   
Vriska is probably a bad idea."

You look across the lunchroom at Tavros, expression thoughtful. "It can't hurt to try."

You wait until the end of the day to try and talk to Tavros, catching him by the arm as he walks down the front steps after school.

The other boy turns around, startled, but his he quickly regains his composure when he sees it's only you. "Oh, uh, hey, Gamzee. What's up?"

"I gotta talk to you, brother, and please listen cause this is about keeping you okay. I think, maybe, you should stop hanging around with Vriska." You say, slinking down to sit on the cement steps. Around you the weather is perfect- blue skies, tweeting birds, and clean air. You wish you felt like the outside looks.

"But Vriska likes me, and I like her." Protests an outraged Tavros, though he moves to sit with you, anyway.

You keep calm. "I know, Tavbro, but she's trouble."

"And how would you know? You've hardly spoken, to her."

"Cause she's like a-" You search for the right choice of words. "Like a wicked witch, only wanting to up and cause trouble."

"What? That's not true! Gamzee, I thought you'd be happy for me."

"I am, but-"

"N-No, uh, buts. Either you're my friend and you support me, or you're not my friend at all."

Sadly, you hang your head. "Then I guess I'm not your friend, brother, cause I just can't be for a choice like this."

Tavros stares at you for a moment before standing with a sigh. "Well, uh, okay, fine then. Vriska says I shouldn't be friends with a loser, like you, anyway."

And with that he walks away, leaving you with nothing but a pocket full of pills and a broken spirit, sitting on the stone steps in front of the brick prison you and a thousand other kids were stuck in.

You skip going to that same prison the next day, having no motivation to go. Instead, you stay at home getting high and feeling sorry for yourself. The fight with Tavros had unearthed a part of you that you kept buried underneath a mountain of Lortab and marijuana. It was a personality that hated life, hated everything. You wanted nothing more than to just be through with life, but you couldn't find the willpower to go and find something to kill yourself with.

Before you know it, two more days have passed and you have sixteen missed calls from Karkat and Terezi. You don't call them back. The one person that you actually want calling you won't, so why should you bother calling back anyone else? On the afternoon of your third day at home, someone starts banging on your front door. You can tell it's Karkat from the angry yelling that comes along with it, but you don't even spare a glance out of the peephole.

But when a quiet knock and a gentle "Hello?" from Nepeta comes, you decide that maybe you should give going back to school a chance. So on Friday you walk into your first class, albeit stoned as fuck.

You see Tavros peek over at you from across the room where he sits next to Vriska, and the sight makes you laugh a little, then a little more, and before you know it, you're laughing like a lunatic at how much you hate the situation, at how broken your heart is.

As you're escorted out of the classroom by the grounds officer, you give Tavros a big grin, unable to stop yourself from letting him in on just how god damned funny his betrayal is.

see me laugh tavros?

CAN YOU SEE ME FUCKING LAUGH?


	5. Chapter Five

You wake up in the nurse's office with the worried, wrinkled face of the school couneslor staring down at you as you lay on the rest bed.

"You okay there, son?" He asks.

Groggily you nod.

"Good, good. Now, do you think you could tell me what happened earlier?"

You sit up and glance around. The grounds officer stands in the corner with his muscled arms crossed and his face stoic. You're a little annoyed at having this counselor asshole in your face, plus the fog that usually sits over your mind has dissipated, but you keep your cool aside from the frown that hangs on your face.

"Just stress, I guess. Know what I mean?" God damn, these fucking WALLS are TOO FUCKING WHITE.

"Yeah, yeah... I see. Well, son, you caused quite a disturbance."

You wanted to punch the little man in front of you, acting like he knows how you feel, like he recognizes the pain in your heart. "Yeah, sorry."

"Mhm, well." His tone makes you want to rip out your hair. "Since you're new to Prospit I'll let you off with a warning. You obviously aren't feeling too up to par."

Obviously not, MOTHERFUCKER. "Yeah, thanks." 

"Okay, now you head on back to class. It's lunch time, you know."

You stand, pushing your lanky form off of the rest bed, and head out the door, grateful to be away from the pretentious asshole within the room. You head through the empty hallways to the lunch room and pop back a handful of uncounted Lortab, swallowing the bitter pills dry. There was no doubt that you hated the taste of the large white pills, but you just couldn't let that stop you from taking them. Finally in the large, crowded lunchroom that smells of some in undiscernable food item, you ignore the plethora of stares from the surrounding students as you sit at your table across from an angrier-than-usual-looking Karkat.

Everyone stays silent for a moment until Nepeta peeps up. "It's nice to see you back, Gamzee." Says the small girl in the cat-eared beanie.

"Thanks-"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Karkat suddenly rages. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

You half-smile. "I wasn't. I just sorta lost my cool for a sec."

"No kidding." Says a casual Terezi.

Sollux and Aradia share a look before standing. "C'mon, Nepeta, let's go." Aradia says.

"But-"

"Come on." Urges Sollux, pulling her away.

Turning back to you, Karkat frowns. "Look, I know you couldn't help it, but still. They could have searched you and found your pills, or sent you away to some fucking crazy house, or-"

"Brother, calm down. None of that happened and I got away scot-free."

"Yeah, but- wait, what the everloving fuck is he doing coming over here?"

You glance back over your shoulder only to see none other than Tavros Nitram walking over. Quickly, you turn back around. Fuck, you'd just gotten your chill back on and look who was here to fuck it up.

"Gamzee, oh my God. I was- I was so worried about you!" All of a sudden your arms are full of cute Latino boy and your heart is racing. "'M fine." You manage to say.

Tavros pulls back and sits on the seat next to you. His face is tear-strealed and his eyes are bloodshot. "G-God... You were right about Vriska. As soon as you stopped showing up at school she, uh, she started to talk about how glad she was that you were gone. She was awful and I- I couldn't just sit around and listen, so I decided to just not hang around with her anymore, and she's probably really mad about that, so I could hang out with you, but you said you didn't want to be my friend and so I didn't call and-"

"Tavros, just shut up, okay?"

That silences Tavros long enough for you to pull him into a hug. "Of course I want to be your friend. I could never just leave you." You whisper against his shoulder. Your heart was in a flurry, your mind was trying to sort out the overwhelming flurry of emotion.

Tavros pulls away and looks up at you with wide eyes. "R-Really? So you'll, uh, be my friend again?"

"Of course, brother."

"Well, what if, I wanted to be, um, more?"

You pull away and cock your head in confusion. "Whattaya mean, Tav?"

The other boy's cheeks flush dark crimson, but he leans in and places a chaste kiss on your lips. "That's what I mean..."

Your eyes widen with realization and your heart thuds against your ribcage. Without saying a word, you lean in and capture Tavros' lips in your own once more. "Does that  
answer your question?"

Tavros stares at you for a moment before a smile breaks out on his face. He giggles and nods. "Hehe, y-yeah."

You're about to go in for another of those sweet kisses, once again ignoring the stares of those around you, when you hear a quiet shuffling. Looking up, you see that Karkat is gone, but he left Terezi sitting there alone.

Sensing the quiet, the blind girl scratches her head. "I don't get it. You didn't say anything, so how did you answer his question?"


	6. Bonus Chapter

Six months later and you couldn't be in a happier position, both literally and figuratively.

Figuratively, the two of you were almost a picture perfect couple. You held hands, snuggled, and had the best sex ever imagined.

That leads to what's going on literally, where you have Tavros pinned on his bed, hands above his head and your mouth on his, tongues moving together in those most amazing dance you'd ever taken part in, the only dance you'd ever been good at.

Now this was nothing like the first time the two of you had been intimate. You'd both been fumbling and awkward. Teeth had clashed, hands had grabbed in the wrong way, and sweat-slicked skin had rubbed raw. But over time the two of you had this down to a perfect sequence of movements and touches.

Back to the present, though.

Your hands trail down Tavros' body, running along his sides, around the curves of his hips, to rest on his round, tight backside where they grip and squeeze tiny whimpers out of that sweet Latino mouth. You hold yourself above Tavros with the strength of your legs, feeling the fabric burn of the sheets on your knees. Pulling away, you lean back on your knees to stare at the beauty before you. Tavros' fluffy mohawk is strewn across the pillow that cushions his head, the contrast of brown locks on white cotton a pleasing aesthetic of the room, his lips are kiss-swollen and plump and parted ever-so slightly, his cheeks are tinted red and flushed, and his body as naked and exposed as your own.

It's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

Tavros peeks up at you through half-lidded eyes. "Gamzee, please hurry."

The plea is like music to your ears, so you go ahead and gladly comply. You lean down, kissing Tavros' lips, then his cheeks, then his neck, moving down, down, down until you're kissing down his belly, then his happy trail, and finally the tip of his erection, drawing a gasp out of the other boy. You lick the precum off your lips and move in again, licking more of the salty nectar out of the slitted opening. Then you lick up the side, milking more moans and whimpers and groans from Tavros' throat. Finally, much to your lover's pleasure, you take his entire length in your mouth, hollow your cheeks, and bob.

It's not long before Tavros is writhing underneath your hands that grip his waist, curses streaming out along with the sounds of pleasure. "Gamzee, 'M close."

You take the warning and pull away with a soft pop, a small string of saliva following you for a moment before breaking in the air. You reach to the side and grab the bottle of lubricant that had been left there. Then you pop open the cap and spread it across your fingers, which you quickly bring down to Tavros' entrance.

"Ready?" You ask with a look up at the other boy.

"Uh-huh." Tavros manages.

You nod and push a single finger into the boy, past the tight ring of muscle, into the heat of Tavros' most intimate parts. In, out, in, out- you continue this for a moment, just feeling the grip and pull of Tavros around you, before adding a second finger and scissoring. Tavros, used to the intrusion, just accepts this with ease and a quiet gasp. After a bit more stretching and in-outing, you add a third and final finger, which you just add to your current movements.

Finally, you decide Tavros' body is okay to go, and you pull your fingers away and lean back on your knees, taking the lubricant once more and coating your cock before throwing the bottle to the side of the bed once more. You creep up, raising Tavros' legs to rest up on your shoulders as you go, looking the boy in his honey brown eyes.

"I love you, Tav." You whisper, enjoying the warm pleasant feeling of pre-coital euphoria.

"I, uh, love you too, Gamzee." Says the other boy back to you, the same look of pure love on his own face.

Then you position yourself and push in, eliciting a gasp out of both of you. The slide is one of ease from a place of cool emptiness to one of tight, hot unadulterated pleasure.

"Oh, G-God." Tavros moans underneath you.

You nod in agreement and thrust in and out, in and out. You find a rythym that's pleasant to both of you, one that heats up your entire body. Soon your hair is matted and dripping with sweat, sweat that has gathered and slicked up both of your bodies.

You take notice of Tavros' erection rubbing between the two of you, so you reach down and begin to pump it in time with your thrusts. Tavros lets out a loud cry at that, and you can tell he's just as close as you are. After a few more thrusts you feel Tavros clench around you as his orgasm seizes him. The feeling of your cock being squeezed and pulled sends you over the edge as well and then you're filling the other boy up with your warm seed while his own spreads between your abdomens.

Your orgasm is one of the best you've experienced yet, and it overwhelms you. White hot bolts of feelgood adrenaline shoot through your veins and you feel alive with energy. But then you begin to come down and you're exhausted all of a sudden.

You pull out of Tavros and fall to the side next to him, the both of you panting. You rest your hand on the Latino's side, looking into his eyes as you catch your breath with him.

"Wow." He says in the silence.

"Motherfucking wow." You agree.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to warn you ahead of time, this was something that ended up being rushed out of me, but I'm a little too lazy to make major revisions. The plot makes sense, though some aspects may appear to dwindle at times.
> 
> Also, when the typing is in Gamzee's quirk, it's him thinking. In case that wasn't obvious enough.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy, guys.


End file.
